I wish I could teleport
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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