Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
