Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
