Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
