There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You ruined the universe
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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