i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
