p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
