that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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