All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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