can we get nightvision for the apartment?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
