Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
