The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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