Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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