youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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