Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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