How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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