Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize