Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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