I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
What a dumb baby whore.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
