well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
