He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize