wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
