Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
