My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize