Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Shame - the story of my life.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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