Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
