After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Randomize
