Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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