What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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