but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
