Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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