Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
