No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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