I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
