She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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