oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
