Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been