There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
