She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
