Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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