dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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