look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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