It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
