Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
