And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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