The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
