oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
