help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Is Oprah even human
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
