I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You can't special order awesome
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
