You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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