i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
