my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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