The best revenge is premature balding
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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