Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
