my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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