operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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