We're facebook friends in real life
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
